Chance’s courage and the impact his story has on people never ceases to amaze me, and to me that shouts exactly where that courage is really coming from… Jesus. Chance is one of the most perceptive people I know (a gift from above) and he can spot the one who is hurting in a crowd. Chance is more prone to walk towards people who are hurting, believing he can make a difference, than he is to turn away from them in fear of them negatively influencing him. As a mom, that is hard and that is where the enemy likes to creeps in to fill me with doubt and fear. I am humbled by that thought when I think about Mary and I can’t even imagine what she felt watching Jesus.
Chance has gone to a Bible college where he knew no one in a remote part of Colorado, an hour away from the nearest gas station and cell phone service. Chance has gone to Bible College in California where he knew no one again but had every convenience within his reach. Each of his semesters at Bible College have been some of the hardest times of his life and he has the scars to prove it, some are visible and some are not. And being honest, I misplaced my hope. My hope was that being at a Bible College would enhance Chance’s walk with the Lord, which is wrong. My hope should never be in a setting or a circumstance but in the Lord himself and the truth He has given to us. Chance has stumbled a lot in his walk with the Lord, but honestly who hasn’t? Who of us could cast that first stone? I used to get depressed when Chance would stumble because I listened to the lies of fear, doubt, and what-ifs. Now I watch and wait expectantly for the Lord’s glory each time he stumbles, because just as we are faithful to stumble, the Lord is faithful to pick us back up, dust us off and whisper “Let’s try this again”, no matter how many times it takes. He knew each day of our life and each mistake we would make before we took our first breath and yet here we are.
Today, I stand firm behind my son and his decision to stay in California all on his own. I have missed the majority of opportunities the Lord has given me to stand firm behind Chance, but not this one. Not because I am naïve and believe he won’t stumble again, but because I know Jesus is right there with him to help him back up when he does. He will be moving to his new home today, where he is renting a room with people I have never met. Yes, they could very well be a ‘bad influence’ for Chance BUT Chance could also be a ‘good influence’ for them, and really what would worrying about that do for me? Is the God I have faith in not bigger than this? For the God I have faith in, ALL things are possible. Nope, not gonna worry, not this time – not for this momma – been there, done that and got nowhere, FAST! Nope, instead I choose to put my hope in the Lord, to keep my eyes on HIM even if the worst storm ever builds around me and I stand amazed at the courage the Lord has given Chance to step on shaky ground where he knows he may fall, because I KNOW that come what may, the Lord NEVER FAILS, NEVER GIVES UP, and HIS GLORY will be seen.
Below are my favorite parts of the lyrics in the song above and these are the truths I cling to!
‘Your grace abounds in deepest waters, Your sovereign hand will be my guide. My feet may fail when fear surrounds me, You’ve never failed and You won’t start now – so I will call upon Your name and keep my eyes above the waves! Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders, let me walk upon the water wherever You would call me, take me deeper than my feet could ever wander and my faith would be made stronger in the presence of my Savior. ‘
My hope is in the Lord and His glory is all around us if we open our eyes to see it.